The problem with living by yourself, Is that without roommates one may forget to do certain things, like say pay electricity bills, or cable bills…*
After being inspired by a close friend… I have decided I am going to have an imaginary friend/roommate. At some point, the line about the lights being off, because I feel its more romantic is going to stop working.
At least now, when I walk into the apartment with a friend I can be like “Dammit, I gave this guy money to pay the bills and he still hasn’t, I hate that guy!”
Show how irresponsible, he is leaving MY clothes on the floor** show how he eats all my food, Never buys any food, leaves my fridge empty, but somehow always manages to keep it packed with nothing but beer, beer, beer, and even more beer. How he visits and bookmarks dubious websites on my computer. Leaves dirty dishes in the kitchen, empty beer cans in the bathroom, living room, kitchen, windowsill and pantry***
And just for kicks, I figured id call the guy Tendai****
I see so much potential… When I go out for Dinner, and suddenly cant find, my credit cards, I will recall how I had my wallet last night, left it in the living room, when I got home, and the only person, who has been home is…..*****
* This is not to imply that I am currently sitting home alone in the dark, stealing internet access from my neighbors wifi, wondering how much longer the battery power on my computer is gona last me while frantically trying to come up with an excuse for delaying the impending arrival of some mates from work, who are coming to watch TV
**Yes pinky just like the bright lime green shirt.
***SO truth be told it’s a studio/loft thingy going on, there is no room for a cutting board in the kitchen let alone a pantry. But I felt I needed to put in one more “and”, so pantry
Was the next best thing
****This way, when I say ohh he was at the club, 3 weeks ago (and there Is always gona be a Tendai who was at the club three weeks ago), it just makes my story sound more believable. When she says which Tendai was that, ill act all offended and be like, hw come u don’t remember my friends.
***** Come come now pinky, its not rocket science
