Urban Word of the Day
www.urbandictionary.com
March 29, 2007: retox
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=retox&defid=771177
To start consuming drugs and alcohol again after a hiatus in an effort
to avoid the effects of withdrawl.
"Man, I haven't had a drink since monday and I'm getting the shakes.
I'd better retox."
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
The Emperors New hustle
Actually, I have no hustle, to tell the truth I’m not even an Emperor*, I just thought the title sounded cool.
I’ve been off the alcohol for a total of 5 nights now, the weekend was particularly hard. I had to assure some of the local neighborhood bars and liquor stores, that it’s only a temporary thing, while I take some Detox tablets, to get rid of all the toxins in my body. I had to assure them that this is being done to make room for all the toxins and unhealthy stuff I am going to fill myself up with this summer.
This non-alcohol thing is really hard. I mean mornings are that much easier to deal with, but the nights are just awful.
I really feel like having a drink ryt now, but I can’t. Had a frustrating day at work, The Knicks lost (again), I lost my headset, and some person who shall remain nameless (Pinky) makes fun of me on my instant messenger when I am not at home!
I don't know how many more nights of this soberness I can take, my whole world is falling apart. I saw Star Wars Episode 1 sober for the first time, and I have come to the sad conclusion that not only is it not a classic, but one of the most pathetic movies I have ever seen. Now I will never be able to take Jar-Jar Binks or George Lucas seriously, ever again!
* Yet
I’ve been off the alcohol for a total of 5 nights now, the weekend was particularly hard. I had to assure some of the local neighborhood bars and liquor stores, that it’s only a temporary thing, while I take some Detox tablets, to get rid of all the toxins in my body. I had to assure them that this is being done to make room for all the toxins and unhealthy stuff I am going to fill myself up with this summer.
This non-alcohol thing is really hard. I mean mornings are that much easier to deal with, but the nights are just awful.
I really feel like having a drink ryt now, but I can’t. Had a frustrating day at work, The Knicks lost (again), I lost my headset, and some person who shall remain nameless (Pinky) makes fun of me on my instant messenger when I am not at home!
I don't know how many more nights of this soberness I can take, my whole world is falling apart. I saw Star Wars Episode 1 sober for the first time, and I have come to the sad conclusion that not only is it not a classic, but one of the most pathetic movies I have ever seen. Now I will never be able to take Jar-Jar Binks or George Lucas seriously, ever again!
* Yet
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
sleep..............
I can’t sleep.
I have been thinking about titles, forget being a hall monitor, I am thinking about making my own cards that say “Tung…..Controller of Planet Earth”.
I was a part of a study group earlier. I was repping my company, In a Microsoft sponsored windows item. I mean I know how to talk, I know how to say things…. I know how to look good, and say the right words when talking in public.
The whole thing was intimidating at the start, big glass mirror (with people looking from the other side) a million cameras, and microphones everywhere. Then they made us sign sumn that says everything we said or did will be owned by Microsoft and can be used however, they see fit.
Which was kinda scary for me. I went to the National High schools quiz In Zimbabwe once. So during taping sitting next to a friend, we would try answer the questions asked. Friendly competition between my boy and me. So every time I got a question right, that my boy got wrong, I would do a lil dance while sitting down. The People at zbc caught me on camera. So when airing that episode of the National High schools Quiz, everytime my school got a question correct they would show me doing my lil dance.
I was in boarding school so I didn’t see the airing, but every1 was laughing at me at breaktime, the day after it aired. I distinctly remember my brother disowning me when I got home, the weekend after it aired.
Moving on, after the focus group, The people who where behind the glass mirrors came out to meet us. One of the girls, who I thought was really nice/pretty, pulled out her card and gave it to me (and not any1 else!!) hers said Microsoft Product Manager, I gave her mine (which just says Retail Sales), I jus felt kinda low after the card exchange.
Now I am not sure if I should take over the world first so that I can have a card that says ruler of the earth, or just make one now that says “Future Ruler of Earth”
I have been thinking about titles, forget being a hall monitor, I am thinking about making my own cards that say “Tung…..Controller of Planet Earth”.
I was a part of a study group earlier. I was repping my company, In a Microsoft sponsored windows item. I mean I know how to talk, I know how to say things…. I know how to look good, and say the right words when talking in public.
The whole thing was intimidating at the start, big glass mirror (with people looking from the other side) a million cameras, and microphones everywhere. Then they made us sign sumn that says everything we said or did will be owned by Microsoft and can be used however, they see fit.
Which was kinda scary for me. I went to the National High schools quiz In Zimbabwe once. So during taping sitting next to a friend, we would try answer the questions asked. Friendly competition between my boy and me. So every time I got a question right, that my boy got wrong, I would do a lil dance while sitting down. The People at zbc caught me on camera. So when airing that episode of the National High schools Quiz, everytime my school got a question correct they would show me doing my lil dance.
I was in boarding school so I didn’t see the airing, but every1 was laughing at me at breaktime, the day after it aired. I distinctly remember my brother disowning me when I got home, the weekend after it aired.
Moving on, after the focus group, The people who where behind the glass mirrors came out to meet us. One of the girls, who I thought was really nice/pretty, pulled out her card and gave it to me (and not any1 else!!) hers said Microsoft Product Manager, I gave her mine (which just says Retail Sales), I jus felt kinda low after the card exchange.
Now I am not sure if I should take over the world first so that I can have a card that says ruler of the earth, or just make one now that says “Future Ruler of Earth”
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Talk the talk
I sure as hell hope it snows tmrw.
Weather report says it won’t; I have been up to my usual antics, talking crap.
My newly found growing Legendicity, myt be lost.
Either that or I am cultivating the wrong kind of rep*.....
In my hey day, I was that dude that would be dribbling at the top of the key and ask the guy marking me, which way u want me to drive? Left, right or through the center? Then in a dubbed Chinese accent id say.... "Well now! U have dared to mark me???", “You think I come to a basketball court, in the middle of the hood, and not knw what is going on, I f#$^&ng represent**!” Then drive in whatever direction dude dared me to go.
I enjoy that, it makes the game that much more intense, more fun. The only problem is that nowadays I can barely bounce the ball!
A date has been set for tmrw, money has been put on the game. People from work are coming to watch.
Part of me thinks I can take this guy. He is taller than I am, bigger than I am, and recently started working out.
In preparation........ Actually, I don’t knw what I am going to do.
I hope the underwear is gna smell really bad tmrw. I'm kinda happy it glows green in the dark***.
* Much like hw I am doing with this blog
** Think skit from Fugees album the score
*** Why am I still single?
Weather report says it won’t; I have been up to my usual antics, talking crap.
My newly found growing Legendicity, myt be lost.
Either that or I am cultivating the wrong kind of rep*.....
In my hey day, I was that dude that would be dribbling at the top of the key and ask the guy marking me, which way u want me to drive? Left, right or through the center? Then in a dubbed Chinese accent id say.... "Well now! U have dared to mark me???", “You think I come to a basketball court, in the middle of the hood, and not knw what is going on, I f#$^&ng represent**!” Then drive in whatever direction dude dared me to go.
I enjoy that, it makes the game that much more intense, more fun. The only problem is that nowadays I can barely bounce the ball!
A date has been set for tmrw, money has been put on the game. People from work are coming to watch.
Part of me thinks I can take this guy. He is taller than I am, bigger than I am, and recently started working out.
In preparation........ Actually, I don’t knw what I am going to do.
I hope the underwear is gna smell really bad tmrw. I'm kinda happy it glows green in the dark***.
* Much like hw I am doing with this blog
** Think skit from Fugees album the score
*** Why am I still single?
The legendicity.....
I’ve been meaning to blog for a minute but I've been distracted working on my legendicity*.
Some work on their sexy, me I’m all about the legendecity!
I work in the hood, which is a semi-big shopping/party district. Naturally, I go to a lot of the bars in the neighborhood**.
So as a group, we went to a local bar after work. Between Peoples usual screaming of Tuuuunga Tuunga Tuunga, every time I said sumn, and the appearance of an ex /xfile and all her cute girl friends. The Urban Legend Stamp got that much closer to being official.
Both at work and at the local watering holes.
A couple of things I learnt:
Attempting to break dance and doing the running man at a work get together is not a good idea! It will get u free drinks but it gives them that much more ammunition the next day.
When U hang with Ur boss at night, and he leaves before u. You can’t just give the age-old excuse of “problems at home” for ur lateness.
Avoid friends that drive without shovels in their cars when it is snowing, because they will ask u to help push their cars out of the snow, at 4 am in the morning.
* Don't look for the word in the dictionary, the Tung's urban Legend is growing at such an amazing exponential rate, that new words are being created to cater for the growing legend.
** i live In the hood
Some work on their sexy, me I’m all about the legendecity!
I work in the hood, which is a semi-big shopping/party district. Naturally, I go to a lot of the bars in the neighborhood**.
So as a group, we went to a local bar after work. Between Peoples usual screaming of Tuuuunga Tuunga Tuunga, every time I said sumn, and the appearance of an ex /xfile and all her cute girl friends. The Urban Legend Stamp got that much closer to being official.
Both at work and at the local watering holes.
A couple of things I learnt:
Attempting to break dance and doing the running man at a work get together is not a good idea! It will get u free drinks but it gives them that much more ammunition the next day.
When U hang with Ur boss at night, and he leaves before u. You can’t just give the age-old excuse of “problems at home” for ur lateness.
Avoid friends that drive without shovels in their cars when it is snowing, because they will ask u to help push their cars out of the snow, at 4 am in the morning.
* Don't look for the word in the dictionary, the Tung's urban Legend is growing at such an amazing exponential rate, that new words are being created to cater for the growing legend.
** i live In the hood
Monday, March 12, 2007
"D" League*
I tried to play ball today.
Note the operative word is "tried".
I left work motivated, practically ran home! Changed, dusted the cobwebs of my basketball! Got my new sneakers out, new shorts, new socks, and lucky underwear.
I checked to see if I still had some handles, bouncing merrily on my way to the courts.
Looking basketball fresh, with my fresh shorts, and old underwear.
On any playground, you have two leagues sometimes 3. You got the Pro's, Loosers/boozers/loosers/D leaguers and 8-year-old kids. I knew I could dominate if I went to play with the 8 year olds, but my pride wouldn’t let me**.
So I stood there for 5 minutes in my fresh pair of sneakers, and old underwear, watching the pro's play. I was bouncing the ball between my legs to show the pro's that I had some game, 20 minutes later no one chose me to be on their team. I can't understand why, especially since I was wearing socks that matched my fresh new shoes and lucky underwear. After I was passed over for a spot to play with the pros by some 8 year olds. I decided to go try my luck in the D- League\loosers, on the otherside of the court.
To be honest I wasn’t really trying to play, I just wanted to shoot around. I was happy they weren’t playing games in the d league, just shooting around. Well at least I just wanted to shoot around, after a while I was just trying to hit the damn ring. Forget making baskets!
Then I gave up on that and tried to just do lay ups. Thing is when people are shooting around at half court it’s usually from the 3 point line, and u don’t want to be the only dude trying to do lay ups. So I was trying to do some fancy windmill type lay ups. If anything, at least I succeeded in making some 8 year olds laugh, and show them how not to do a lay up.
Eventually tho, the D-leaguers decided to play a pick up game. I think I played okay, all my airballs looked like inside passes. I am not sure if the reason why they let me drive here and there was because they where afraid to step on my fresh sneakers, or the smell from the lucky underwear. Eitherway, I think I played better than I expected to.
Ru, I took Ur advice and took it easy. I can tell my body is gna hurt a lil tmrw. The target I set for myself is to be able to dunk by the end of the summer. Hopefully In a few more weeks, ill have enough confidence to play with the big boys again.
* The D has nothing to do with my high school nickname
** If you know that you are going to be schooled, its better you get schooled by the pro's.
Note the operative word is "tried".
I left work motivated, practically ran home! Changed, dusted the cobwebs of my basketball! Got my new sneakers out, new shorts, new socks, and lucky underwear.
I checked to see if I still had some handles, bouncing merrily on my way to the courts.
Looking basketball fresh, with my fresh shorts, and old underwear.
On any playground, you have two leagues sometimes 3. You got the Pro's, Loosers/boozers/loosers/D leaguers and 8-year-old kids. I knew I could dominate if I went to play with the 8 year olds, but my pride wouldn’t let me**.
So I stood there for 5 minutes in my fresh pair of sneakers, and old underwear, watching the pro's play. I was bouncing the ball between my legs to show the pro's that I had some game, 20 minutes later no one chose me to be on their team. I can't understand why, especially since I was wearing socks that matched my fresh new shoes and lucky underwear. After I was passed over for a spot to play with the pros by some 8 year olds. I decided to go try my luck in the D- League\loosers, on the otherside of the court.
To be honest I wasn’t really trying to play, I just wanted to shoot around. I was happy they weren’t playing games in the d league, just shooting around. Well at least I just wanted to shoot around, after a while I was just trying to hit the damn ring. Forget making baskets!
Then I gave up on that and tried to just do lay ups. Thing is when people are shooting around at half court it’s usually from the 3 point line, and u don’t want to be the only dude trying to do lay ups. So I was trying to do some fancy windmill type lay ups. If anything, at least I succeeded in making some 8 year olds laugh, and show them how not to do a lay up.
Eventually tho, the D-leaguers decided to play a pick up game. I think I played okay, all my airballs looked like inside passes. I am not sure if the reason why they let me drive here and there was because they where afraid to step on my fresh sneakers, or the smell from the lucky underwear. Eitherway, I think I played better than I expected to.
Ru, I took Ur advice and took it easy. I can tell my body is gna hurt a lil tmrw. The target I set for myself is to be able to dunk by the end of the summer. Hopefully In a few more weeks, ill have enough confidence to play with the big boys again.
* The D has nothing to do with my high school nickname
** If you know that you are going to be schooled, its better you get schooled by the pro's.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Bye Bye
I just thought it would be fair to explain why I am going to stop blogging.
The New York, state Lottery is now at 355 Million Dollars!
I know deep down in my heart I am meant to win this money. I have been procrastinating playing the lottery for so long. Now that I have, by right the money is mine!
I even decided to double my Odds by not buying just one but two lottery tickets! Considering people call me Tu , You can all see this is meant to be... Tu bought two tickets.
Sorry Kids but I won’t have time to blog anymore. As we speak, I am trying to figure out how to pay Bobby Browns Child support fees so that he can join my entourage. Ill get Him, Mike Tyson, K Fed and Arnold Drummond*.
I think results get announced tonight.
After I win, I am going to pay my phone bill! Change my name, and get around to doing my laundry! I would pay my rent but I think my landlord gave up on that one a long loooong time ago.
Later .....
*Jus to hear him say "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
The New York, state Lottery is now at 355 Million Dollars!
I know deep down in my heart I am meant to win this money. I have been procrastinating playing the lottery for so long. Now that I have, by right the money is mine!
I even decided to double my Odds by not buying just one but two lottery tickets! Considering people call me Tu , You can all see this is meant to be... Tu bought two tickets.
Sorry Kids but I won’t have time to blog anymore. As we speak, I am trying to figure out how to pay Bobby Browns Child support fees so that he can join my entourage. Ill get Him, Mike Tyson, K Fed and Arnold Drummond*.
I think results get announced tonight.
After I win, I am going to pay my phone bill! Change my name, and get around to doing my laundry! I would pay my rent but I think my landlord gave up on that one a long loooong time ago.
Later .....
*Jus to hear him say "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
Monday, March 5, 2007
Axis?
Now as the world turns, when will us black people learn?
Before we had a perm, we came from Adam's sperm
You see with plain vision, we live in the same system
Became victims, once was able, can't even raise children
Where's 'the village' when you need it?
A question for the person in the looking glass
Our community's lookin bad like a bucket full of crabs
That's the crooked path
If we don't straighten this out, how long would it last?
Every night you hear the bullets blast
Even if you in the suburbs every night, you see the footage flash
across your screen, I'll tell you my biggest pet peeve
You lookin at it thinkin like, "It don't affect me"
You livin large I'm thinkin like, "It don't impress me"
Rockin them chains, Sojourner Truth is tryin to set free
It don't take a pro-fessor
to see the o-pressor got the whole treasure
Now how many Africans slain for one platinum chain on yo' dresser?
I'm no better just because I think I know better
Tell me who you trust when you're in your new trucks
Some of us dyin over a few bucks, killers old enough to ride a school bus
With brothers like these tell me, who needs the Ku Klux?
Women walkin with titties out cause the truth sucks
It's time to breastfeed, knowledge is the best key
We got us pourin liquor out for all the dead G's
Rest? Please, in the grave you gettin less peace...
One Be Lo
Before we had a perm, we came from Adam's sperm
You see with plain vision, we live in the same system
Became victims, once was able, can't even raise children
Where's 'the village' when you need it?
A question for the person in the looking glass
Our community's lookin bad like a bucket full of crabs
That's the crooked path
If we don't straighten this out, how long would it last?
Every night you hear the bullets blast
Even if you in the suburbs every night, you see the footage flash
across your screen, I'll tell you my biggest pet peeve
You lookin at it thinkin like, "It don't affect me"
You livin large I'm thinkin like, "It don't impress me"
Rockin them chains, Sojourner Truth is tryin to set free
It don't take a pro-fessor
to see the o-pressor got the whole treasure
Now how many Africans slain for one platinum chain on yo' dresser?
I'm no better just because I think I know better
Tell me who you trust when you're in your new trucks
Some of us dyin over a few bucks, killers old enough to ride a school bus
With brothers like these tell me, who needs the Ku Klux?
Women walkin with titties out cause the truth sucks
It's time to breastfeed, knowledge is the best key
We got us pourin liquor out for all the dead G's
Rest? Please, in the grave you gettin less peace...
One Be Lo
Thursday, March 1, 2007
Dreams
I have been having trouble sleeping lately.
After I saw the Departed the other night, I had a weird dream about being an undercover agent working for Dr Phil, trying to steal Oprah's secrets! Oprah who is all knowing, found out! Forgave me! Then paid me double to go to the Maury show, and find out how he manages to have such a unique and different show everyday.
Then I dreamt, I won an Oscar for playing pinky removing her hair.
I really need to figure out how to sleep, without having to read battlefield earth first.
I quit drinking last night (again). I have been health conscious all day and alcohol free for about 12 hours. At lunch time I did not go to the Mickey D's across the street from where I work. Instead I walked a whole block to the Wendy's up the road (I feel healthier already)*.
Seriously, tho, I need to figure out how to sleep on time! I keep on daydreaming! Earlier on, I thought I saw some weird looking "fabulous tights".
Then I dreamt the city of New York, outlawed niggaz. Turns out it was just the word nigga. At least we are still allowed to say Wigga, Goldberg’s, Cracker, Bipty, Chiegro, Redneck, Honky, Chink, Kaffir, and Brooklynite**.....
* To anyone not called anonymous, why am I still single?
** I couldn’t resist I had to throw that one in!
After I saw the Departed the other night, I had a weird dream about being an undercover agent working for Dr Phil, trying to steal Oprah's secrets! Oprah who is all knowing, found out! Forgave me! Then paid me double to go to the Maury show, and find out how he manages to have such a unique and different show everyday.
Then I dreamt, I won an Oscar for playing pinky removing her hair.
I really need to figure out how to sleep, without having to read battlefield earth first.
I quit drinking last night (again). I have been health conscious all day and alcohol free for about 12 hours. At lunch time I did not go to the Mickey D's across the street from where I work. Instead I walked a whole block to the Wendy's up the road (I feel healthier already)*.
Seriously, tho, I need to figure out how to sleep on time! I keep on daydreaming! Earlier on, I thought I saw some weird looking "fabulous tights".
Then I dreamt the city of New York, outlawed niggaz. Turns out it was just the word nigga. At least we are still allowed to say Wigga, Goldberg’s, Cracker, Bipty, Chiegro, Redneck, Honky, Chink, Kaffir, and Brooklynite**.....
* To anyone not called anonymous, why am I still single?
** I couldn’t resist I had to throw that one in!
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