"D" League*

I tried to play ball today.

Note the operative word is "tried".

I left work motivated, practically ran home! Changed, dusted the cobwebs of my basketball! Got my new sneakers out, new shorts, new socks, and lucky underwear.

I checked to see if I still had some handles, bouncing merrily on my way to the courts.
Looking basketball fresh, with my fresh shorts, and old underwear.

On any playground, you have two leagues sometimes 3. You got the Pro's, Loosers/boozers/loosers/D leaguers and 8-year-old kids. I knew I could dominate if I went to play with the 8 year olds, but my pride wouldn’t let me**.

So I stood there for 5 minutes in my fresh pair of sneakers, and old underwear, watching the pro's play. I was bouncing the ball between my legs to show the pro's that I had some game, 20 minutes later no one chose me to be on their team. I can't understand why, especially since I was wearing socks that matched my fresh new shoes and lucky underwear. After I was passed over for a spot to play with the pros by some 8 year olds. I decided to go try my luck in the D- League\loosers, on the otherside of the court.

To be honest I wasn’t really trying to play, I just wanted to shoot around. I was happy they weren’t playing games in the d league, just shooting around. Well at least I just wanted to shoot around, after a while I was just trying to hit the damn ring. Forget making baskets!
Then I gave up on that and tried to just do lay ups. Thing is when people are shooting around at half court it’s usually from the 3 point line, and u don’t want to be the only dude trying to do lay ups. So I was trying to do some fancy windmill type lay ups. If anything, at least I succeeded in making some 8 year olds laugh, and show them how not to do a lay up.

Eventually tho, the D-leaguers decided to play a pick up game. I think I played okay, all my airballs looked like inside passes. I am not sure if the reason why they let me drive here and there was because they where afraid to step on my fresh sneakers, or the smell from the lucky underwear. Eitherway, I think I played better than I expected to.

Ru, I took Ur advice and took it easy. I can tell my body is gna hurt a lil tmrw. The target I set for myself is to be able to dunk by the end of the summer. Hopefully In a few more weeks, ill have enough confidence to play with the big boys again.





* The D has nothing to do with my high school nickname

** If you know that you are going to be schooled, its better you get schooled by the pro's.

Air ZImbabwe

Note To Self

Don't quit ur Job untill you are sure you have won the Lotto.

Bye Bye

I just thought it would be fair to explain why I am going to stop blogging.

The New York, state Lottery is now at 355 Million Dollars!

I know deep down in my heart I am meant to win this money. I have been procrastinating playing the lottery for so long. Now that I have, by right the money is mine!

I even decided to double my Odds by not buying just one but two lottery tickets! Considering people call me Tu , You can all see this is meant to be... Tu bought two tickets.

Sorry Kids but I won’t have time to blog anymore. As we speak, I am trying to figure out how to pay Bobby Browns Child support fees so that he can join my entourage. Ill get Him, Mike Tyson, K Fed and Arnold Drummond*.

I think results get announced tonight.

After I win, I am going to pay my phone bill! Change my name, and get around to doing my laundry! I would pay my rent but I think my landlord gave up on that one a long loooong time ago.

Later .....



*Jus to hear him say "Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

Axis?

Now as the world turns, when will us black people learn?
Before we had a perm, we came from Adam's sperm
You see with plain vision, we live in the same system
Became victims, once was able, can't even raise children
Where's 'the village' when you need it?
A question for the person in the looking glass
Our community's lookin bad like a bucket full of crabs
That's the crooked path
If we don't straighten this out, how long would it last?
Every night you hear the bullets blast
Even if you in the suburbs every night, you see the footage flash
across your screen, I'll tell you my biggest pet peeve
You lookin at it thinkin like, "It don't affect me"
You livin large I'm thinkin like, "It don't impress me"
Rockin them chains, Sojourner Truth is tryin to set free
It don't take a pro-fessor
to see the o-pressor got the whole treasure
Now how many Africans slain for one platinum chain on yo' dresser?
I'm no better just because I think I know better
Tell me who you trust when you're in your new trucks
Some of us dyin over a few bucks, killers old enough to ride a school bus
With brothers like these tell me, who needs the Ku Klux?
Women walkin with titties out cause the truth sucks
It's time to breastfeed, knowledge is the best key
We got us pourin liquor out for all the dead G's
Rest? Please, in the grave you gettin less peace...

One Be Lo

Note To self

Redbull and vodka is not a good drink to have as a nightcap!

Dreams

I have been having trouble sleeping lately.

After I saw the Departed the other night, I had a weird dream about being an undercover agent working for Dr Phil, trying to steal Oprah's secrets! Oprah who is all knowing, found out! Forgave me! Then paid me double to go to the Maury show, and find out how he manages to have such a unique and different show everyday.


Then I dreamt, I won an Oscar for playing pinky removing her hair.

I really need to figure out how to sleep, without having to read battlefield earth first.

I quit drinking last night (again). I have been health conscious all day and alcohol free for about 12 hours. At lunch time I did not go to the Mickey D's across the street from where I work. Instead I walked a whole block to the Wendy's up the road (I feel healthier already)*.

Seriously, tho, I need to figure out how to sleep on time! I keep on daydreaming! Earlier on, I thought I saw some weird looking "fabulous tights".

Then I dreamt the city of New York, outlawed niggaz. Turns out it was just the word nigga. At least we are still allowed to say Wigga, Goldberg’s, Cracker, Bipty, Chiegro, Redneck, Honky, Chink, Kaffir, and Brooklynite**.....






* To anyone not called anonymous, why am I still single?
** I couldn’t resist I had to throw that one in!