I was reading up on the new Immigration laws.
I guess if you are illegal, paying $5 000 in penalties $2 000 in processing fees and going back home for 10- 13 years, b4 u can come back is not a bad deal..........
Immigration: The Human Cost
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Facebook, just seems like the In-thing-to-do, and I am not a conformist, and I told myself that all the other little nonsense things I do to waste time like cleaning my room, showering and blogging are enough.
So I joined Facebook, Right now I cant see much, cant see anyone’s profile, and no one is accepting my friend requests. I am not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that I didn’t use my real name. To tell the truth one of my friends realized that anyone that would come up with a nom-du-plum as original as "Oliver Mapfumo" had to be me, Or was that Thomas Mtukudzi I forget***.
Come to think about it, maybe I should have just gone for Tawanda, Tendai, Lovemore or Ross. I didn't think the name was that bad? I am sure there must be someone in ZImbabwe called Oliver Mapfumo...... If there are babies in the United States called ESPN, then what is so ridiculous??
Right now, I am trying to figure out, if I had a point to get at in this blog*,
For now I am going to leave Facebook alone, seems cool. Seems to have more people that I know than hi5. Maybe eventually ill get around to getting on it legit. I think Ill spend my time cleaning my room for now, who knows maybe oprah will call one day and want to come through. My more immediate concern is that the roaches I thought I was living peacefully with, have decided to move out cus of the mess.
Then again maybe next year Ill clean my room****.
* Like how I do on every other post**.
** That was an attempt at humor***.
*** Pinky give up if u haven’t gotten it already.
**** I guess the only perk of not having a girlfriend.
So I joined Facebook, Right now I cant see much, cant see anyone’s profile, and no one is accepting my friend requests. I am not sure if this has anything to do with the fact that I didn’t use my real name. To tell the truth one of my friends realized that anyone that would come up with a nom-du-plum as original as "Oliver Mapfumo" had to be me, Or was that Thomas Mtukudzi I forget***.
Come to think about it, maybe I should have just gone for Tawanda, Tendai, Lovemore or Ross. I didn't think the name was that bad? I am sure there must be someone in ZImbabwe called Oliver Mapfumo...... If there are babies in the United States called ESPN, then what is so ridiculous??
Right now, I am trying to figure out, if I had a point to get at in this blog*,
For now I am going to leave Facebook alone, seems cool. Seems to have more people that I know than hi5. Maybe eventually ill get around to getting on it legit. I think Ill spend my time cleaning my room for now, who knows maybe oprah will call one day and want to come through. My more immediate concern is that the roaches I thought I was living peacefully with, have decided to move out cus of the mess.
Then again maybe next year Ill clean my room****.
* Like how I do on every other post**.
** That was an attempt at humor***.
*** Pinky give up if u haven’t gotten it already.
**** I guess the only perk of not having a girlfriend.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
The Plan
I have never achieved much in life, I tried calling myself Tung the Third (To make myself sound cooler than I am)*, but it just seemed like too much work.
I tried playing the lotto a couple o times (the fact that I am up blogging and not partying with the puff myster and Paris is testament to the fact that I still haven’t won). To tell the truth I have had a lotto ticket in my wallet for about 3 weeks. I might be a multi millionaire as we speak but I can’t be bothered to check to see if I won.
Then there was my attempt at becoming an urban legend……
I Think I epitomize the concept of slacking, I contemplated wearing some diapers driving all the way to Chicago, Kidnap Stedman and knock him out the out the box and get Oprah all to myself. But I still haven’t even figured out where I can buy grown up diapers.
I tried to steal glasses from restaurants, had a friend come in from out of town and was clearly outclassed in my restaurant glass stealing capabilities. I am still traumatized by my inability to steal glasses this past weekend. Thing is not only did it not happen once but on two occasions.
I think I have had enough! I am going to do something and accomplish it!!!!!!!!
My NEW plan for this summer, is to not go to the same bar twice!!
To put it mildly New York City is a Big Big place, and I only ever go chill at the same few bars. I need to diversify my portfolio. Also if I am going to be stealing glasses. its best to steal from a bar and not go there for a minute.
My only exceptions to the rule are going to be nightclubs and poetry spots, my five favorite neighborhood bars***. and places where I am going to meet people.
Its time for a change, I am going to do something and stick to it, and then I can feel I have accomplished something. Summer officially starts in June, so between June and September we will see how it goes…………..
Well maybe one more exception if someone is going to buy me alchohol, Ill fly all the way to Nebraska, not once but maybe 6 or 7 times and go to the same bar, just as long as the alchohol is free! Infact for that I may even get some diapers and drive all the way non stop.
* This is not to say that I am not cool.**
** Well at least if Oprah ever asks I am the coolest dude on the planet
*** Something to do with local economy and laziness………..
I tried playing the lotto a couple o times (the fact that I am up blogging and not partying with the puff myster and Paris is testament to the fact that I still haven’t won). To tell the truth I have had a lotto ticket in my wallet for about 3 weeks. I might be a multi millionaire as we speak but I can’t be bothered to check to see if I won.
Then there was my attempt at becoming an urban legend……
I Think I epitomize the concept of slacking, I contemplated wearing some diapers driving all the way to Chicago, Kidnap Stedman and knock him out the out the box and get Oprah all to myself. But I still haven’t even figured out where I can buy grown up diapers.
I tried to steal glasses from restaurants, had a friend come in from out of town and was clearly outclassed in my restaurant glass stealing capabilities. I am still traumatized by my inability to steal glasses this past weekend. Thing is not only did it not happen once but on two occasions.
I think I have had enough! I am going to do something and accomplish it!!!!!!!!
My NEW plan for this summer, is to not go to the same bar twice!!
To put it mildly New York City is a Big Big place, and I only ever go chill at the same few bars. I need to diversify my portfolio. Also if I am going to be stealing glasses. its best to steal from a bar and not go there for a minute.
My only exceptions to the rule are going to be nightclubs and poetry spots, my five favorite neighborhood bars***. and places where I am going to meet people.
Its time for a change, I am going to do something and stick to it, and then I can feel I have accomplished something. Summer officially starts in June, so between June and September we will see how it goes…………..
Well maybe one more exception if someone is going to buy me alchohol, Ill fly all the way to Nebraska, not once but maybe 6 or 7 times and go to the same bar, just as long as the alchohol is free! Infact for that I may even get some diapers and drive all the way non stop.
* This is not to say that I am not cool.**
** Well at least if Oprah ever asks I am the coolest dude on the planet
*** Something to do with local economy and laziness………..
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
My Hero
I have been having trouble blogging and sleeping, I have been stressed. Too much going on, I have been consumed trying to figure out what part of Queens Peter Parker* comes from, and whether or not Oprah cares that I live in the same borough as Spidey.
I have also been thinking about creating my own superhero, that will cater for people like me .
Who cares about mutants, and billionaire boys??
First of all my super hero, would be cool (much like me). Unlike Clark, Peter, Tony or Bruce my dude is gona be a hero in the daytime and Hero at Night. I’m thinking a Fireman AND Policeman (Daytime), and at night is when his real super heroness comes out.
He is gna be a super bartender, the kind that will confuse $10.00’s for $100.00**. The kind of bartender that will sacrifice his whole paycheck to buy patrons drinks. The kind of bartender that will not only hear you bitch about the ex, but use his connections at the police department to tow her car, and connects at the fire department to burn her house down…***
Id like to point out that my blogging may or may not have anything to do with two free drinks that I received earlier on tonight. But If I had to make my own super hero it would be a bartender, that saves lives by day and gets me drunk by night..
And maybe my hero will work side by side with my ideal girlfriend that will work at starbucks during the day, and work at the bar by night…
Actually, anyone that would get me free Starbucks or Beer would be a hero in my books….*****
Don’t front tho, the character would be interesting…..
* That’s Spiderman Pinky!!
** Like buying a $10.00 drink with a $10.00 bill and getting $90.00 back…..
*** I know, I know, why am I still single????
**** I know, I know know low standards***
I have also been thinking about creating my own superhero, that will cater for people like me .
Who cares about mutants, and billionaire boys??
First of all my super hero, would be cool (much like me). Unlike Clark, Peter, Tony or Bruce my dude is gona be a hero in the daytime and Hero at Night. I’m thinking a Fireman AND Policeman (Daytime), and at night is when his real super heroness comes out.
He is gna be a super bartender, the kind that will confuse $10.00’s for $100.00**. The kind of bartender that will sacrifice his whole paycheck to buy patrons drinks. The kind of bartender that will not only hear you bitch about the ex, but use his connections at the police department to tow her car, and connects at the fire department to burn her house down…***
Id like to point out that my blogging may or may not have anything to do with two free drinks that I received earlier on tonight. But If I had to make my own super hero it would be a bartender, that saves lives by day and gets me drunk by night..
And maybe my hero will work side by side with my ideal girlfriend that will work at starbucks during the day, and work at the bar by night…
Actually, anyone that would get me free Starbucks or Beer would be a hero in my books….*****
Don’t front tho, the character would be interesting…..
* That’s Spiderman Pinky!!
** Like buying a $10.00 drink with a $10.00 bill and getting $90.00 back…..
*** I know, I know, why am I still single????
**** I know, I know know low standards***
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
all around the world
I just felt like saying that!
Actually, I haven’t been around the world yet, I am waiting for the lotto or Oprah to take me.
Then I can expand my collection of stolen glasses and make it International.
I started collecting caps; the premise behind the idea is that every time I go out of town ill buy a cap, so when I go to Boston next month, I'm gona buy a Red Sox Cap. In Philly* I would get a 76ers cap, actually no! Cus getting a basketball cap would be like betraying my Knicks. So id get a Phillies cap. The only Exceptions to the rule are Manhattan and New Jersey**. I went to Brooklyn the other day and I am mad at myself for not getting a Brooklyn cap***!
Right now I only have two caps,(and I know its sad), An Atlanta Cap (the first one i bought), I got that back in Sept, when I went to Atlanta, and I have my Miami "1966" Dolphins cap, that I got in.....****,
Maestro and Jan pay attention I really want a Raiders and a Dodgers cap*****. Nina even after you move you are gna help me pick a Bears cap.
To tell the truth, after Atlanta, Chi, Cali, Boston, Philly, and DC I don’t think there is too much I am going to look for. I mean if by some sad and unfortunate twist of fate I end up with a Denver Bronco's Cap, then so be it.
A few college caps would be cool too, Mt Holyoke, MIT, Harvard, Jackson State, U Chicago, Florida State (Yes Brian Ill put my Hatred aside), Lander, etc, etc.
I just want to be able to fill a room before i buy my bottle store at age 50.
I am not gona wear the caps, only thing ill take off is the price tag. Hopefully, overtime Ill get more and more. When I do get them, Time allowing id try and get em as different as possible.
Then when im old, senile, and drinking in my highly unprofitable bottle store in Zimbabwe (The one right next to my highly unprofitable butchery). Ill be giving people free beer on condition that they listen to my ramblings about the trip I took to Atlanta back in 06, where i Was in pain and thought I had broken my leg one day, and miraculously recoverd the next day******.
I need hobbies people drinking and Oprah don't count.
Ive got my time budgeted this Year. Hopefully Ill get a Caps United Cap Next Year. ...
* Or as my boy put it Killadelphia
** All Jersey has is Hockey teams, and that isn’t going to look good on my wall.
*** Yes I Go to Brooklyn that often
**** Pinky that means I got in Miami!!!
***** That’s really a "yo I’m letting you know now I’m gona come crash at your place soon!!"
******* U had to be there...
Actually, I haven’t been around the world yet, I am waiting for the lotto or Oprah to take me.
Then I can expand my collection of stolen glasses and make it International.
I started collecting caps; the premise behind the idea is that every time I go out of town ill buy a cap, so when I go to Boston next month, I'm gona buy a Red Sox Cap. In Philly* I would get a 76ers cap, actually no! Cus getting a basketball cap would be like betraying my Knicks. So id get a Phillies cap. The only Exceptions to the rule are Manhattan and New Jersey**. I went to Brooklyn the other day and I am mad at myself for not getting a Brooklyn cap***!
Right now I only have two caps,(and I know its sad), An Atlanta Cap (the first one i bought), I got that back in Sept, when I went to Atlanta, and I have my Miami "1966" Dolphins cap, that I got in.....****,
Maestro and Jan pay attention I really want a Raiders and a Dodgers cap*****. Nina even after you move you are gna help me pick a Bears cap.
To tell the truth, after Atlanta, Chi, Cali, Boston, Philly, and DC I don’t think there is too much I am going to look for. I mean if by some sad and unfortunate twist of fate I end up with a Denver Bronco's Cap, then so be it.
A few college caps would be cool too, Mt Holyoke, MIT, Harvard, Jackson State, U Chicago, Florida State (Yes Brian Ill put my Hatred aside), Lander, etc, etc.
I just want to be able to fill a room before i buy my bottle store at age 50.
I am not gona wear the caps, only thing ill take off is the price tag. Hopefully, overtime Ill get more and more. When I do get them, Time allowing id try and get em as different as possible.
Then when im old, senile, and drinking in my highly unprofitable bottle store in Zimbabwe (The one right next to my highly unprofitable butchery). Ill be giving people free beer on condition that they listen to my ramblings about the trip I took to Atlanta back in 06, where i Was in pain and thought I had broken my leg one day, and miraculously recoverd the next day******.
I need hobbies people drinking and Oprah don't count.
Ive got my time budgeted this Year. Hopefully Ill get a Caps United Cap Next Year. ...
* Or as my boy put it Killadelphia
** All Jersey has is Hockey teams, and that isn’t going to look good on my wall.
*** Yes I Go to Brooklyn that often
**** Pinky that means I got in Miami!!!
***** That’s really a "yo I’m letting you know now I’m gona come crash at your place soon!!"
******* U had to be there...
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Everyone’s a rapper............
I guess this myt make some sense cus my dumb ass friend writes in caps, on messenger......
lyricaltopics: IT'S AN EPIDEMIC
tungataks: i bet they all sound like tupac
lyricaltopics: YUP
lyricaltopics: OR WACK N THINK THEY DOPE
tungataks: yeah
tungataks: do u rap?
lyricaltopics: YEAH
lyricaltopics: BUT NOT TOO MUCH ANYMORE
lyricaltopics: FOCUSIN ON SPOKEN WORD
lyricaltopics: I STILL DO IT WITH MY KIDS
lyricaltopics: WRITE A 16 HERE AND THERE
lyricaltopics: BUT I DON'T LIKE MY RAPS TOO MUCH THESE DAYS
tungataks: thats whassup tho
tungataks: Ive got an apprecitation
tungataks: but i think i got scarred off rhyming a long time ago
tungataks: back in the 90's when every1 was rapping about whack mc's
tungataks: and i heard myself on tape and i was like damn
tungataks: im a wack mc
tungataks: so i quit
lyricaltopics: I STILL FLOW
lyricaltopics: BUT I THINK A POETRY AUDIENCE
lyricaltopics: IS MORE RECEPTIVE TO MY SPOKEN WORD PIECES
tungataks: if i ever tried to flow thats who i would try and cater for too.......
tungataks: but i gave up on poetry too
tungataks: when i read my own shit a few years ago and realised it was wigedy wack
lyricaltopics: LOL
lyricaltopics: LOL
tungataks: then i had a friend who is an mc
tungataks: was like music is a 2 way thing
tungataks: the mc needs an audience to understand
tungataks: so when he is mc'ing and connects with me
tungataks: then i become a part of the music
tungataks: because there is no him without me
lyricaltopics: TRUE
tungataks: so im fine with that
tungataks: ill make my fame elsewhere
tungataks: or rather make my mark
lyricaltopics: WORD
lyricaltopics: TOO MANY EMCEES ANYWAY
tungataks: and not enough mics
lyricaltopics: PROB THE ONLY DOPE LINE FROM PRAS
tungataks: lol
lyricaltopics: IT'S AN EPIDEMIC
tungataks: i bet they all sound like tupac
lyricaltopics: YUP
lyricaltopics: OR WACK N THINK THEY DOPE
tungataks: yeah
tungataks: do u rap?
lyricaltopics: YEAH
lyricaltopics: BUT NOT TOO MUCH ANYMORE
lyricaltopics: FOCUSIN ON SPOKEN WORD
lyricaltopics: I STILL DO IT WITH MY KIDS
lyricaltopics: WRITE A 16 HERE AND THERE
lyricaltopics: BUT I DON'T LIKE MY RAPS TOO MUCH THESE DAYS
tungataks: thats whassup tho
tungataks: Ive got an apprecitation
tungataks: but i think i got scarred off rhyming a long time ago
tungataks: back in the 90's when every1 was rapping about whack mc's
tungataks: and i heard myself on tape and i was like damn
tungataks: im a wack mc
tungataks: so i quit
lyricaltopics: I STILL FLOW
lyricaltopics: BUT I THINK A POETRY AUDIENCE
lyricaltopics: IS MORE RECEPTIVE TO MY SPOKEN WORD PIECES
tungataks: if i ever tried to flow thats who i would try and cater for too.......
tungataks: but i gave up on poetry too
tungataks: when i read my own shit a few years ago and realised it was wigedy wack
lyricaltopics: LOL
lyricaltopics: LOL
tungataks: then i had a friend who is an mc
tungataks: was like music is a 2 way thing
tungataks: the mc needs an audience to understand
tungataks: so when he is mc'ing and connects with me
tungataks: then i become a part of the music
tungataks: because there is no him without me
lyricaltopics: TRUE
tungataks: so im fine with that
tungataks: ill make my fame elsewhere
tungataks: or rather make my mark
lyricaltopics: WORD
lyricaltopics: TOO MANY EMCEES ANYWAY
tungataks: and not enough mics
lyricaltopics: PROB THE ONLY DOPE LINE FROM PRAS
tungataks: lol
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Seeking…….
I am a single black man that has recently re-discovered the joys of stealing glasses from bars, and restaurants.
I am looking for like minded individuals, preferably females, that will come out for a drink or two with a hand bag, that will fit a glass or two*.
Summer is fast approaching so it will be that much harder, to sneak out glasses without the large winter jackets/coats. On the plus side, there will be more bars and restaurants that will serve drinks outside, so it will be that much easier…..
I am very picky, plastic cups and glass bottles do not count, and neither do items from establishments that sell glasses their glasses or give them away.
Feel free to comment/email or call me.
I will also be looking more favorably at, respondents’ that will not only help me steal glasses, but actually buy me the beer too….
* Maestro if you want to carry a handbag, I will not discriminate and fuck with you too…
I am looking for like minded individuals, preferably females, that will come out for a drink or two with a hand bag, that will fit a glass or two*.
Summer is fast approaching so it will be that much harder, to sneak out glasses without the large winter jackets/coats. On the plus side, there will be more bars and restaurants that will serve drinks outside, so it will be that much easier…..
I am very picky, plastic cups and glass bottles do not count, and neither do items from establishments that sell glasses their glasses or give them away.
Feel free to comment/email or call me.
I will also be looking more favorably at, respondents’ that will not only help me steal glasses, but actually buy me the beer too….
* Maestro if you want to carry a handbag, I will not discriminate and fuck with you too…
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